Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
