I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
