Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
