I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
