if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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