Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
