Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
