Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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