Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
