I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
