Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
