She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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