someone owes me an orgasm
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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