My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
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