I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
