The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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