I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize