i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
