OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
