U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
