Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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