this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
