She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
