Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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