rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
