Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
