In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
