You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When are your genitals available?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize