I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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