Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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