I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
