So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
