My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
