the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
