Please, let me fuck your mom
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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