Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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