FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's the barista slut.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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