i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
