so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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