Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
