i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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