Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize