i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
