And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
