I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
operation harelip BJ is a go
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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