Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to make out with him forever
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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