...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
