It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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