My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
