my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
