Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
