Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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