My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
