If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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