I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize