So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
