I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
People in love make me want to vomit
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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